Since I am a jivanmukta I have never suffered this approach unless, perhaps, when I was a jivan. I do not remember how I felt for the girls I liked when I was a jivan, but I think I was brainwashed with this approach, at least with one girl. I cannot remember nor realize how I came to be brainwashed in this way but I think I was because I remember longing very, very much for a girl from school and not knowing how to speak to she, whilst feeling a terrible awe and feeling of inferiority towards she that I have not experienced with anyone else.
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