Demoniac Findings

I started this as a mean to organize my ideas pertaining my two religious tendencies: shakta dharma and neo-vaishnavism. I have seen very much neovaishnava misery in God’s institutes that are supposed to be oasis in the desert of material society. The names of the blog were Boyfriends of Alice at first, then Bygone Alices, then the actual name. I started it with mires to see to which extent the neovaishnava dharma was corrupted and after learning yesterday what it was the problem all about, I have rejected it from my heart because of the loath it provoked on me thinking that with any propaganda of it I am just making this demons stronger. They, now, are purportedly the fruit of the demonic seed planted by the illuminati on them. I regret learning all this because it shatters to pieces my desires of being initiated in masonry and have more initiations in neovaishnavism.

As far as I am concerned, the things that are known and published against them must to be true, why wasting time in inventing such grievous stories, huh? So, I am relinquishing any serious spiritual project for them until I am invested with transcendental power. What I mean by this? I can explain it very easily telling you what is my shattered dream: although it was taken by me as a very last resource/resort, I loved the idea to live in the future vedic city that will originate from the Mayapura Chandrodaya Mandir; but since the situation seems to be very degrading there, I am not ready to return to it. And I know that I will not be ready for many years unless I am invested with transcendental power. I feel very much indignation about the whole subject: as soon as Prabhupada died poisoned to death by this crooks, they took over his mission, then started doing their bidding with Krishna’s and Bhaktivedanta’s properties, read: founding a multinational club of pedophiles that now is around two thousand members. What a stone-faced nuisance they are! So yesterday, after reading the tortures several devotees have been put through, I have thought again that I do not want to belong to the vaishnavism of the Madhva lineage. This idea is in me since around 2002 when I was acquainted with the internal problems in Srila Prabhupada’s mission. I think the most salient teaching I learnt with devotees of ISKCON is that once the swamis are corrupted, the whole system rots. I have seen and felt the attitudes and feelings of the devotees in Mayapur and I could not believe the degrees of degradation they are in. Krishna will not destroy me because this denouncement of His devotees simply because it is the truth.

Still, I have the knowledge of being limited to progress and prosperity only in the material creations if I am a devotee of Devi and Mahadeva only. That is why I also pursue vaishnava knowledge. Because somewhere in the future eons my experience in samsara has to end! Or maybe not; I do not know all of God’s plans for me. Of one thing I am sure: I am a jivan-muktha so I am almost totally sure that samsaric transmigration for me will some day end.

Here are the videos that made me remember something I already knew. They helped me to understand the gravity of the situation in detail.









Half a year ago, all the knowledge I acquired after watching this videos has changed me the way I see the world, it is because in one of this videos, at the end, it encourages to search the Internet for “NWO” and for “ILLUMINATI.” I did, and this search took me to a strata of the net full of conspiracy data. In this networks I have found the book by Springmeier and Wheeler, that was a total eye opener. This book has let me thinking that how innocent of me of not knowing that in US, Japan and other countries controlled by the Illuminati, what some victims are forced to live is rarer than fiction. The secret behind the book is that the control apparatus of the Illuminati in US is a sort of Matrix in real life. It is for this that I say it changed my view of the world. I cannot explain you its secrets, you must read the book by yourself. It changed me so much, that, for instance, one of the states I loved was Utah, but after the revelation that the Mormons are an experiment of masonry, I sort of felt very disillusioned with Utah and checked my love for it. Still, you may note reminiscences of Beatrice Sparks in the name of this blog...

To finish with this post, I want to say that I am not “picking a quarrel” as it suits to the kali yuga persons. I just want to keep a watch on this because I feel that being a devotee of Krishna I am being cheated. They are intruders in God’s house and are taking up space that belongs to others that are not rapist danavas like them.

I wanted to make this blog a center of knowledge for topics related to cult abuse. As I told in the introduction I was abused sexually in a dream when I was in Mayapur. I wanted to sift the net for histories of corrupt teachers and make an index, but searching I have found that somebody already took the work of doing that. It will be less specific but the links to the sites that catered to my need of knowledge will always be here. But if I want to have some vaishnava initiation or service for a sacrifice in the future, even in a future life, I need to be an expert not only in vaishnava scripture but also in who were those who killed the Guru of The West and infiltrated his mission to destroy it.

The facts are based in personal experience and also in the revelations that I have got in PADA, FACTNet and. Surrealist.org.

Beginning Anew

Once again, I will start with the endeavour. But first I have to continue with the chronology of my addiction. I have not stoped to check in which state my will power was. But in this almost four months that passed since my first documented attempt, I could realize that for achieving some progress in the endeavour I have to accept that, although I can’t say my willpower is destroyed on its entirety, my willpower is certainly fragmented. I mean that I can have very strong willpower for certain things, but the most difficult for me to do is apply my willpower to quitting tobacco. The worst side of this, pertaining willpower, is that with the weakness and the vulnerability that the vice carries with itself I am in a very deep mess because the weakness and its consequences influence negatively my willpower as a whole. Let alone my psyche, body and soul.

Not taking on account the physical, mental and spiritual consequences of the vice, is not only the seediness that the residues lets one in, but also the loss of time spent in buying the cigarettes and smoking them. But I told that I will continue with the chronology of the vice. Following is the account on how it went from late 2000 onwards:

Pipe and cigarettes continued when I travelled to Spain. When I was there I was very, very insufficiently fed. I smoked a lot, still I was not showing the signs of unhealthiness that I before attributed to tobacco addiction. Mainly the signs of tobacco consumption in the face. For some eerie reason my face was not hardened as some times before, even though that I was not eating well and smoking very much.

From Spain, I went to India. In India I discovered three things that captured my attention: one was spicy cigarettes, the other was gutka (hard, tasty, chewable tobacco flakes), and beedis.

I tasted the spicy cigarettes, the gutka and the beedis in that order. At first, I felt the biddies as a long awaited alternative to cigarettes smoking. The gutka, sold on those little bags where it is sold, was a too much repulsive way of consuming tobacco for myself so I did not stick to it. It had a most alien taste, it did not taste as anything I tasted before but thinking on swallowing the tobacco with the saliva was a very disquieting reason why I did not want to be ensnared to it. Besides, I felt that the mandatory spitting out of saliva with the residue of the chewing was repulsive for others and for myself, a degradation and a blatant, lustfully exhibitionist loss of corporal energy.

When I arrived to Ind, at twenty-three, I was doing yoga for the last six years. After all, when the novelty faded away, I felt shame of myself, of still being a slave to tobacco. My first resolve to quit came when I was in Goa, soon after my arrival to India. There, in the middle of Goa’s exuberant nature I felt that I was cheating She by the agency of myself. I tried going cold turkey and it was most unbearable. After four or five days of withdrawal I started to smoke again.

The biddies caught my attention. I felt that they were more practical than cigarettes because they took away the craving and were consumed in less time than a cigarette (something from two to three minutes, depending on the brand) I started smoking biddies and a cigarette occasionally. The two pipes I had... they broke down, and I have not seen pipe tobacco in India neither, yet.

I started thinking that I was nearing to being spared from the tobacco vice. The biddies gave me that confidence. Seeing my change from a cigarette to a tiny beedi I thought of it as progress towards the ideal of quitting. How WRONG I was! But I did not know it yet. The years begun to pass. I smoked only biddies, save a few exceptions. These exceptions were like, say, some day I was by the streets and I bought some or another loose Indian cigarette: Stars, Chancellors, Regents. Or Yaks, if I was in Kathmandu. With the discovery of biddies my selection when I decided to buy cigarettes was always a budget one: they were not an obsession to myself anymore I preferred quantity over quality since quantity gave me the edge of not needing to go to buy often. But besides this idyllic first time with the biddies I was missing to smoke in pipe very much. In one of my trips to Kathmandu I bought seven very cool, inexpensive wood pipes; my pipe smoking started again. Now I was smoking pipe and biddies, but I still smoked some or another cigarette. I almost do not have memories of buying cigarette boxes in India. The cigarette smoking I did there was almost always a loose cigarette, sold by the unit that costed from one to three rupees.

One day, like five or six months before leaving Asia I saw a placard in the street that urged beedi smokers to quit. It showed two or three pictures of the malignant tumors it provoked in the mouth of those who smoke it. Then I started to think about how bad beedi was. With just seeing the conditions of beedi rollers in a tobacco sweat-shop I came to the conclusion that with the beedi I was smoking much of those people’s germs and much of the microscopic pieces of their tissues left on the biddies in the rolling process.

Coming to my rescue, a new brand of pipe tobacco appeared. In fact, it was the first brand of pipe tobacco I saw in Ind, its name: Sailor. I quitted beedi and dedicated myself to the pipe only. This pipe smoking continued until early 2007. When the last of those Nepalese pipes broke down, I picked up cigarettes again; in the scale I was smoking them in middle ‘99: more or less a twenty cigarettes box per day.

Since I remember very well that shift in middle ‘93 of smoking only in the morning and evening to smoking the whole day compulsively, and since I remember that it was with Luckies, I think that symbolically, the farewell from the vice has to be with Luckies. Three are left in the pack, after I finish them I am going cold turkey, this time it is decided. Really decided.

Tobacco Habit Involution

It is the first day of 2008 ad by the Gregorian calendar. After fifteen years smoking I came to the ultimate resolve to quit. Just four reds are left in the pack. I came to realize the bad side of smoking, it is a progressive poisoning until one dies because the radioactive chemicals have taken up all the life in the body; replacing the natural fluids of the body.

As a diary of my Becoming I will begin recording the reasons and the emotional side of it, then I will investigate stats about smoking related to health and finally I will try to deepen in the diseases that smoking produces to the body.

I took up smoke when I was fourteen years. No one of my friends smoked but one. With this one, having a sort of genetic affinity I felt in confidence and since he drank and smoked I started to imitate him.

The worst thing that he has taught me was waking up and lighting a red without nothing in the stomach, not even a single cup of water. I think this gesture of damnation has put a serious conditioning in all what my adolescence was.

I remember that I begun smoking on Saturdays when we used to go to the matinee of a club near our district. I remember going to drink wine before going to the club with my friends. By this time, we were all already influenced by this friend with the alcohol. Of this group of friends I was the younger. We were seven or eight friends some of them seventeen and eighteen, some sixteen one fifteen and I fourteen. I have to confess that my first cigarettes were women's cigarettes. I had tasted reds and they were too much for my untrained respiratory system. They were a serious torture for me, even the women's ones, so I got rid of them throwing them over a bus-stop's roof. The episode with the women’s cigarettes where in ‘90, when I was thirteen. The real start of my addiction to this vice was in ‘92.

I think that the dark side of the cigarettes, in my case, is very much the same as what it was when I begun and what it has become. When I took it for the very first time, in a somewhat, serious way was around the same time that near by to my house a video arcade was opened. I think around two months since the opening of the video arcade. I begun smoking on the afternoons when I was alone in my house. Then, by the time my mom returned I used to go out with the remnant of the pack and finish them around the video arcade. I am sure that by December of '92, after six months smoking, I was already hooked to the vice.

Still, by then I smoked only on the afternoons and outside. I remember that I shuffled among three brands: reds, Camels and Luckies thinking I could differentiate their flavors and, sometimes for seasons, having a fishy taste for one out of the other two.

The dark side of smoking, in my case, is the time drain that it could manage to inflict on a viciously compulsive smoker like I was.

I think that the ghosts, spirits, minds and demons that one is exposed to, specially being an innocent kid of fourteen in a bad social cityscape are very much at an advantage for hooking the kid in a vice so violent and deadly like tobacco smoking is.

Returning to the video arcade, I fall in the reckoning that it is very sad of a coincidence that I sacrificed time playing video games for smoking. But it was allowed to smoke inside of the arcade, so what it really was, was the beginning of a slow fall into a life driven by a compulsive and environment-induced anxiety.

As I grew up in an entertainment-wise family, I am not of the ideology of looking down on video games as vices. I think video games are not vices; not even in the cases where they impede a "normal development of the personality and appropriate functioning in the society of the subject." 

But tobacco has conditioned my video gaming passion considering that each of the aforementioned cigarettes takes around five minutes with fifteen seconds to be smoked. Start adding cigarette over cigarette and you come to around half an hour dedicated to smoking...

The video arcade did not last much. But I have left it before it closed; when I begun going to a school near the downtown. I had to commute a lot when I was fifteen years. Like three hours per day were lost in buses and subways.

As an aid to the wrong things in my life that were beginning, this of commuting instead of the normal thing of going to a school near my house added to the novelty of beginning to smoke at night in my house and sometimes in the morning. 

I think that April or may of '93 are the most likely months that I can say is when I begun smoking compulsively. It had ceased being fun, because after around four months that it became a vice to me, now it became a compulsion.

Wednesday 2nd of January 2008

It is the afternoon. Yesterday I smoked the last red at around nine pm. I did not feel craving for the rest of the day. Yesterday I was supposed to stop, but today, after sixteen hours without touching cigarettes the craving sensation returned.

I was decided to stay without smoking and bearing the craving sensation, but I could not do it. After fifteen years, I have to accept it, I am ensnared deeply in this deadly vice. 

Today I needed to go out to make a phone call since I am without the phone for the last two weeks. I think that I can keep myself aloof from the vice as long as I resist the temptation. But once I go out of the house, with money in my pocket and feeling the craving sensation, it begins to be difficult.

Going to the gas station's shop for making the phone call did not help me. There, the temptation to buy cigarettes was so much strong that I bought a pack of Luckies.

I have to learn the ability of depositing all my strength in the force of my will. But the sensation is so overwhelming that it is easier to finish it smoking a cigarette instead of learning to build up my will force. To rebuild it is the proper term, since I feel it destroyed.

For keeping up with the endeavor I have decided the following: I will not go out of the house until three weeks without smoking have passed. I am sure that three weeks is the essential minimum to begin cleaning my body of nicotine and to call it a start. I am sure that if I can stay three weeks clean, I will be able to stay clean three months. I think that three weeks are enough to begin the detox. I know that if I can stay more or less three months without smoking my organism will be completely clean of it. If I manage to keep aloof from tobacco for three years, then when the three years without smoke have passed I can consider myself having a new body free of the vice. Only after three years, because that is the time that the molecular structure of the body takes for regenerating itself, that is like having a new body.

Now I want to resume the reckoning of how my tobacco vice developed.

In those days of '93 when I begun smoking compulsively I smoked less than ten cigarettes per day. But by the end of '94 I had already discovered that smoking a cigarette after eating was one of the main characteristics of the vice. As if it was impossible not having a cigarette for relaxing after talking a meal. I remember that I begun with these brands:

First pack bought by myself: Virginia Slims (middle '90)

First pack smoked in front of the computer: Camel (Early '92)

First cigarettes shared with friends: Marlboro (Early '92)

First cigarettes box that I bought and thought as superb in taste: Camel (after the first season of five or six months buying Marlboro)

In middle '92 I started, as I said before, to shuffle between Camel, Marlboro and Lucky. But mostly Marlboro, since in my country, in the early nineties, the only brand that sold the ten-cigarettes pack was Marlboro, and I did not feel that I needed to smoke more than ten per day.

This shuffling continued through all '92, all '93 and all '94 until somewhere in 1995 when I picked up a brand of black tobacco called Parisiens. Here the story changes since believing that the Parisiens were more healthy than blonde cigarettes I started to smoke around a pack of twenty per day. In these days (all '95 and all '96) I was going to a school near by my house. But when in March of '97 I shifted to a school in the downtown again and I stopped the twenty black tobacco cigarettes per day returning to the old habit of ten blonde cigarettes per day.

For economic reasons I had to quit the cigarettes in December of 1997. But after four years smoking I was ensnared already and the craving sensation was very, very strong. So I have bought a pipe and a pack of Borkum Riff cavendish. In December of 1997 begins my pipe smoking.

I managed to keep myself aloof from cigarettes with the pipe, but till a certain point only. Since I begun with the pipe I could smoke it instead of cigarettes but in my house only. It was enough for me to be somewhere else for lighting a cigarette that I begged from somebody, that I was offered or that I had bought loose because I was away from my house and the pipe. But I was losing my taste for the cigarettes because of the pipe.

This changed in late '98 when I begun to smoke a lot of cigarettes again while I continued with the pipe. I was not able to buy all the time expensive tobacco like Borkum Riff, Clan, Indian Summer, Holland House, Sail and such, so I picked up a very cheap brand of tobacco. 

This brand (Richmond) was so cheap that with the money that I bought a pack of reds I could buy a bag of fifty grams and smoke for around a week. Needless to say that I knew how to smoke a pipe. Tasting the smoke and taking it not farther down than the larynx. Never taking it to the lungs as with the cigarettes.

All through '99 the pipe smoking and the on and off mood with cigarettes continued, sometimes not touching a single cigarette for entire weeks. This made me feel proud and confident that I had somewhat defeated the cigarette smoking vice, but it was not so.

In late '99, When I traveled to the US for the first time, after the advice received by my brother, I started stealing menthol Bensons from the pack of my father's girlfriend; because she used to let it in the kitchen at night. I am not sure why I did this, because I have taken my pipes with me to the US and I was smoking the pipe tobacco that was available there: Captain Black and a bigger pack of generic brand aromatic vanilla tobacco.

With the nightly consumption of menthol Bensons I had fallen from all what I have gained of smoking only pipe tobacco. By February of 2000, and back in my country, I had picked up the reds again, letting the pipe for extreme cases.

All 2000 I smoked reds until I returned to the US. I still had my pipes and the cigarettes, in late 2000 in US, were very expensive, something like 4.50 U$D, so I took up pipe smoking again.

This time I smoked only Captain Black, but the pipe smoking culture and discipline had left me. I started inhaling the pipe smoke to the lungs.

Note: this attempt to quit was not successful.

Introduction To The Blog

I think I was programmed from my early childhood to represent an archetype of eternal youth and heroism and for bringing hope and inspiration to people like you. Before, one of the worst things I had to fight was being at immediate risk, (and eventually being victimized) of being infected by the ideology and mentality of masons seemingly aspiring to become Illuminati.

Let me tell you my story: I am sure that I was somewhat programmed since being a toddler with particular things that remembering them now at 30 tell a story as if they were sygns or omens separate parts of a bigger tale. It may sound very disparaging for those that do not believe in the doctrine of the transmigration of the soul (ie: reincarnation) I, find sygns that tell me about who I was in previous lives. I tell you just because I am always voluntarily keeping an open mind since I am a yogi and I like to be open minded always. This correlates with how much vulnerable to psychic attack and mind control I have put myself since I became an awakened person and started being spiritual.

Having many [ex] kin-women, like a grand mother and six grand aunts, and aunts that practice degenerate forms of witchcraft, and being fed Disney all through my childhood I was in some way being prepared for some future event to become more ensnared in their demoniac and enviously jaundiced culture of mind control and black magic works.

I forgot to tell something important about my [ex] lineage. These [ex] kin are mostly from a family from Sicilly that in NYC is one of the most infamous names of the mafia. But my [ex] lineage came from Italy to South America instead of going to US. I bet they could not get a visa like the ones who eventually will become Mafiosi in NYC of so demonic they were. Very serious: seven sisters witches, grand mother and grand aunts. So to speak.

I was generally dissociative and mentally deaf until 21 years old. I was very much empirical minded and thought that phenomena like telepathy and mind control could only be possible if the subjects experimenting it were in the same room. I thought that I knew about the mind, but in fact I was spiritually dead. Still, I had feelings and emotions. I perceived some of the elements of the mind and other planes but as I told, I was not mentally sound by any means, and until 21 was when I have suffered the most.

The years that followed, although they were worst that when spiritually asleep before 21, I started having a full blown personality and discovering what was the reason of having a so full of misery childhood and adolescence: constant tendencies to dissolution of my belongings (this was far worst when I was a child), subliminal telepathic hypnotism, black magic and demonology against me. I started to fight them spiritually. I am sorry for the ex-[deprogrammed]monarchs that will read this, but just before being awakened by God's grace at 21, I had came to the lowest point in my social and personal history, and I also became too much influenced, because I started going out with the daughter of a mason.

She told me how she was traumatized when she was a kid. Not like in US, more of a light version of it. She never saw his father the mason illuminatus aspirant [seemingly] burning up alive or skinning alive a kid, but she has seen how his father burnt up to a mishmash of plastic her and her sisters' toys.

She loved too much her Rosicrucian mother and says that hates her Masonic father. She never told me nothing more about other traumas perpetrated against she or her belongings, but after going out for one year and a half I came to know she a little and can tell that she was traumatized in some ways.

For instance, she never gave up her alleged virginity to me. Meanwhile I was loving she very much. But she was the most shy and sexually neurotic kid I have had as a girlfriend.

That is why back then, at 20 years I started living a very difficult life. I think I have upset much more my former enemies and the new ones (acquired after this girlfriend) because of my awakening.

In those days, as I have read that happens when the illuminati are involved, my girlfriend, her mother and one of her sisters that lived together were in the dire straits of bankruptcy and displacement by the negligence of a businessman that owned them money of a property they sold through him.

They had nobody to ask for help when they were kicked out from where they were living. Only the mason father of the girls. They did, and this man gave them an abandoned house "of the family", near to a cemetery, to stay until they could better their situation.

I spent three or four days with them in that house. Let me tell you that I have not seen nothing comparable to the furniture and the paintings that I have seen in that downtrodden abandoned house. The shapes of the bourgeois furniture and satanic themes of the paintings were of a decidedly macabre tone.

My awakening changed me completely from being an empirical minded, innocent creature to the state of mental power and spiritual identity. For those who do not understand me, search for "Nirvikalpa Samadhi" and read what is. That is what I have lived at 21 after three years doing yoga almost continually.

By some unfortunate reason, by August of 1998 when my awakening occurred I was being less and less with the mason's daughter but I was already hooked in their strata of degradation and mental strife, because I was hanging out with a group of new friends from the school in a spot in the downtown less than 1 kilometer from the Masonic temple.

My very strange and spoiled life became a hell on earth, because I did not have any spiritual training as a way to cope with the weak points of the novelty of the mental power of being awakened.

I was rescued by my father who lives in US and took me there in November of 1999. I was not seeing him for the last 6 or 7 years and he had changed completely my perspectives on life, specially because in those months of late '98 and '99 I was completely wasted, physically, socially and morally, for hanging out in a spot so nearby to the Masonic temple.  I was convinced of not having any future and everything started to appear worthless to me.

I feel that the people who prosecutes other people mentally, emotionally, electronically or in whatever way is people in the lowest rung of evolution. They are people of demonic nature that are so much unfortunate, wrong and empty that they cannot tolerate freedom, fortune, beauty, prospects, a better future nor any other good quality in those who are truly superior to them in character, love, wealth, spirituality, morals, social class, beauty, etc.

I know that supposedly only God can judge who is inferior or superior, but I am an awakened person; I am not God but I am in a situation of clairvoyance that lets me judge somebody for his/her actions.

I have lived in India in my twenties. I have not experienced the bad things I have experienced here in Occident. To give you an example: in India I have never heard any voices telling nothing negative to me. The [few] voices I heard in India were friendly and loving. Except when I was remembering Occident.

The opinion that I have is that my neighbors are overpowered by the rest of my enemies and they (being also my enemies out of basically the covetousness and envious greed they express) take the toil of prosecuting me mentally.

Those of you who have been prosecuted mentally, have you stopped to think what kind of person is who is eager to do it?

It is the empty, unfortunate and envious people that cannot tolerate their victim's superior surfeits of leisure, superior social connections, superior knowledge, higher feelings and so on. . .

I will tell you what they do to me: they think they have the emotional monopoly of the neighborhood. . . they think they are the only ones allowed to feel cool emotions and vibes and use the method of denying me each time I start feeling a cool emotion or vibe.

Yet, I have being a victim of emotional flatness for all the time that I have lived in this house because the envy of the jaundiced neighbors, even before the ones that deny me moved to the back of my house.

When I was younger I always suffered emotional drainage. Then I have lived in many other places also but did not have this problem. It is obvious that here, in this working-class district, there is no space for kindness, since this district is a district of slaughterhouses and butcheries; one of the worst districts of Buenos Aires City.

And when I returned, after four years abroad, I found the new neighbors who are persons of the worst character. I do not know how is it possible. I think they take advantage of my way of being. I do not know how they are able to check the cool emotions when I start feeling them.

It goes like this: when I start feeling the blow of a superb vibe I hear "NO" in my mind or sometimes the sound comes clearly from the back of the house, where they live. After the "NO" is heard, the cool vibe/feeling/emotion is always gone. They are emotionally flat sensory crooks, I can't find any other word for it, because I don't honor them calling them vampires, because they are more like leeches or worms.

I discovered my ailment of emotional flatness as early as 1992, when I was 15 years. And since then, in this district of hills of abbatoirs, it continues. I have read Dion Fortune's book about psychic crooks and noted that she is true when she prescribes leaving the place where the psychic crooks operate as the most reliable cure to the problem.

Thanks to discovering my problem at 15, which I did in a moment of enlightenment when I asked myself why I was loosing it, why the cool emotions were living me, and the response was that it was because I've started to smoke cigarettes.

Because of this adolescent trauma, I was always very much inclined to learn about feelings and emotions. In India I have acquired a great wealth of knowledge about it, and I have learned a thing fundamental to the exchange of feelings.

Feelings are exchanged only among equals. As a matter of fact, I would prefer emotional flatness to exchange feelings with such outcast demonic neighbors, but monopolizing the mind and the spirit of a place and/or person the way they do is not fair. They hate when somebody out of love and empathy blows my mind and start denying me and the feelings, out of envy and covetousness.

It goes without saying that I have to be more careful than needed because they also try to mess me up using myself as their agent. If I do not concentrate my mind, they try to control me by hypnotism; for me to do my things wrongly.

I believe that they think they have the right to hinder my social life. They know that I having a girlfriend or something of the like will mean the power of humbling them emotionally. . . but that is not all.

The voices seem to think that they may have some power over me and over how I may plan, execute and reap the fruits of my actions, because they also deny me when I start working for my benefit.

It is very annoying. . . but I will not leave the place in a hurry, because they seem unable to cope with my perspective of my future in a much better place than this. While staying, I take pleasure on thinking that I am leaving to have more than what I already have, no less, and in a much better place.

But they seem to want me leaving fast. I return them their tortures with the denying of leaving in a haste to something uncertain, and with a constant work of tantric warfare that I inject in them every day.

But they insist, because some other of the voices I hear say to me "Go away."

I have read Springmeier and Wheeler's book, "{The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave}" you may have discerned it. I just could not expect freemasonry being that.

I must admit that I wanted to visit the Masonic temple's library. I must thank God of having made them so a private cult, because I was not allowed to enter it and after having read the book of Fritz and Cisco I am thankful that my search for occult knowledge about Satan in the Masonic temple's library ended that way.

It is because I have read that book that I have finally understood why my life became so miserable when I became an awakened person. . . I had to regain my spiritual identity fast and I was inevitably goaded by the mental, emotional and social hardships of those days of 9 years before.

For many people it may appear that I fell from the pan of Buenos Aires City Downtown Masonic temple surroundings because I did the most predictable step for a self taught yogi and rose to the fire of the Hare Krishnas for learning devotional yoga (bhakti).

After remembering God and being able to feel in Krishna's temple as in my own house what sad irony is that my biggest house, the Hare Krishnas, is infiltrated by the Illuminati.

I lived with the Hare Krishnas many, many months and was told some very alarming things. But they were told to me in a very poetic manner that I did not grasp the gravity of the situation. Like the hare-krishna movement being infiltrated by the CIA and the illuminati.

I did not know about the illuminati when I began learning until which point ISKCON is infiltrated by "demons" as how they are called within the movement.

I must admit that when staying in a Hare Krishna city were these demons live I have had the worst nightmare of my life. In it I was given by a guru and his cronies to a devil who was about to rape me, but I had the power to wake up before he achieved it.

Now I want to tell you other very sad story pertaining my first days in ISKCON in Shreedam Mayapur when I was in India. I was 24 years, so much already brainwashed by one month living in a Hare Krishna ashram in Buenos Aires that I trusted the devotees blindly.

I have let a CDs folder with my complete collection of info of all my life to a Russian ISKCON devotee to find a few hours later that my two most important CDs were scratched and beyond all apparent way of fixing them.

In those CDs I had the log of my digital life, like logs of chatting with friends, background work of my arts, letters, and such things that I was collecting through the years and appreciated very much since I am never very eager to purge my files because I like redundancy with my info. . . I do not know what happened, but what a coincidence that not one of my CDs with software was scratched like the ones with personal data.

This only meant that I was still prosecuted by demons obsessed with making me lose stuff, and if this story has a beginning middle and end, the tragedy with the miser russian krishna was the middle point of it, because this will continue in the future and I yet don't know it, but can see it coming.