"If you're a MALE survivor and some day finally make true love (the so-called fusion) with her using a certain shell, and afterwards this shell gets pregnant and she leaves the shell, would you agree with the idea of letting your and your wife's genetic child to that couple (that shell without your wife plus her partner) to create ? (if you do, mentalize "GOOD FATHER FOR OURS KIDS" whenever you see him)."
This paragraph makes me think about a grandiose paranoid delusion I seem to have for the last 5 or so years. This delusion is about being in love and dating a "foreigner" girl; this happened to me in my middle adolescence. What is important is that when I read this paragraph, and this other one, from "Dismantling keyword HANDICAPPED (plus DISABLED PERSON, CRIPPLE, BLIND, DEAF, DUMB, PARALYTIC, MONGOLOID, FREAK, MAIMED, LAME, etc.)"
"And if you're a man, there is still an additional issue : you may have now a child that is your son or daughter, after your semen has been extracted in one of these meetings in the past, when you were officially a neutral person. You know you'll know this child. It's only a question of time. You will like him/her."
I can just think that PON is talking, again, of something that happened to me. One day when arriving in a Katmandu, Nepal, I think it was the third or four time I went to Katmandu, a new thought unfurled in my mind and started to try to instigate some reaction respecting it. The thought was that one of my girlfriends, in adolescence stole some semen from myself and then inseminated herself out of my knowledge and permission. And that the kid was, at that particular moment when I arrived to Katmandu, 9 or 10 years.
But meditating this again and again, I have diverged in two differing conclusions. One, the most uncanny of the two, is that this girl was in fact more than a "character", I thought that she could be a "foreigner" in human disguise; this, for different reasons too difficult to explain to somebody that has not lived the things I lived nor seen the things I saw, pertaining "foreigners."
I do not know if I will have the drive to tell you about those things later in this book. But as a reply to PON's answer if I will let them or not to "create." I would not, because that girl now is just a woman that looks totally different, and is an expensive hooker that sells her body for her fatherless son. PON meant re-"create"? More artificial sons, why?
The other conclusion is that I was being prey to a brain washing taking on account my knowledge about Carlos Castaneda's books. I feel that whoever was trying to brainwash me with this story of my artificially inseminated son, knew that I knew this of Castaneda. If one is conversant with it, what the character "Gorda" tells in "The Second Ring of Power" about the soul of the persons who had sons or daughters... "YOU KNOW."
About Carlos Castaneda I can say something that one may give to it some use. When I read Castaneda at nineteen or twenty years of age, I have found it like the most mystical and refined occult and 'godly'... fun thing to read. But after studying vedantic and tantric scriptures I have come to the conclusion that Castaneda may be a hoax. But forgive me, please, the memories of Castaneda, his missing disciples and the Yaqui Indians that he, allegedly, studied.
This paragraph makes me think about a grandiose paranoid delusion I seem to have for the last 5 or so years. This delusion is about being in love and dating a "foreigner" girl; this happened to me in my middle adolescence. What is important is that when I read this paragraph, and this other one, from "Dismantling keyword HANDICAPPED (plus DISABLED PERSON, CRIPPLE, BLIND, DEAF, DUMB, PARALYTIC, MONGOLOID, FREAK, MAIMED, LAME, etc.)"
"And if you're a man, there is still an additional issue : you may have now a child that is your son or daughter, after your semen has been extracted in one of these meetings in the past, when you were officially a neutral person. You know you'll know this child. It's only a question of time. You will like him/her."
I can just think that PON is talking, again, of something that happened to me. One day when arriving in a Katmandu, Nepal, I think it was the third or four time I went to Katmandu, a new thought unfurled in my mind and started to try to instigate some reaction respecting it. The thought was that one of my girlfriends, in adolescence stole some semen from myself and then inseminated herself out of my knowledge and permission. And that the kid was, at that particular moment when I arrived to Katmandu, 9 or 10 years.
But meditating this again and again, I have diverged in two differing conclusions. One, the most uncanny of the two, is that this girl was in fact more than a "character", I thought that she could be a "foreigner" in human disguise; this, for different reasons too difficult to explain to somebody that has not lived the things I lived nor seen the things I saw, pertaining "foreigners."
I do not know if I will have the drive to tell you about those things later in this book. But as a reply to PON's answer if I will let them or not to "create." I would not, because that girl now is just a woman that looks totally different, and is an expensive hooker that sells her body for her fatherless son. PON meant re-"create"? More artificial sons, why?
The other conclusion is that I was being prey to a brain washing taking on account my knowledge about Carlos Castaneda's books. I feel that whoever was trying to brainwash me with this story of my artificially inseminated son, knew that I knew this of Castaneda. If one is conversant with it, what the character "Gorda" tells in "The Second Ring of Power" about the soul of the persons who had sons or daughters... "YOU KNOW."
About Carlos Castaneda I can say something that one may give to it some use. When I read Castaneda at nineteen or twenty years of age, I have found it like the most mystical and refined occult and 'godly'... fun thing to read. But after studying vedantic and tantric scriptures I have come to the conclusion that Castaneda may be a hoax. But forgive me, please, the memories of Castaneda, his missing disciples and the Yaqui Indians that he, allegedly, studied.
No comments:
Post a Comment