I resumed my bodybuilding training on 25th of November. I did it using the same weight I was using two months and a half before; when I stopped.

In the mornings of the 23th, 24th and in 25th's I got somewhat carried away by intertia and didn't do hatha. But the point is how I felt on Thursday 26th when I, theoretically, should do hatha in an attemp of getting nearer to the objective I've put to myself (no less than sixteen days of hatha per month). But I couldn't. I felt overwhelmed by the aching in the muscles I was feeling from the workout of the day before . Anyway, I am feeling nonchalant about it since, this time, the deception felt less frustrating than times before when I tried to coordinate the two disciplines and simply couldn't; out of feeling drained of my energy.

Maybe it had to do with resentment from the environment and its consequent tampering with my mind; from where psychic parasites can operate to feed on one's energy

I am noting that workout changes one's body very fast. I got quite surprised when I weighted myself on 25th and I was 151.8 pounds, because two days after I was weighting 158.4 pounds... this is just too difficult to accomodate to a hatha-yogic sadhana when one has to practice mitahara. The two are quite incompatible. I got proof of this in the subsequent weekend when I was feeling sick on the stomach after a lot of food as I started to take because my metabolism got accelerated after beginning working out.

I now will do my tenth hatha yoga session of this month. It doesn't matter at all that I didn't reach my objective of sixteen, but nevertheless, I will call it a month and see if I can achieve it on the upcoming month of December... without stopping weigh workouts, of course.

Weights and Hatha

Today, on the 23rd of November I am writing this entry before starting my nineth hatha-yoga session for this month.

Minutes ago I was thinking that since I have put myself the objective of doing hatha no less than sixteen days per month, I have a challenge ahead: doing hatha everyday until the month finishes.

I thought on this better. After all, it isn't a great challenge by itself because in India I could do better than that; somewhere around the twenty or more days per month mark. But I rememberd also that today I am gonna start again with my weight training, so it does become a challenge.

Why? Simply because I've already tried it and it was difficult for me. I started lifting weights to build muscle since August 2007, two years and four months ago and when I was training with weights I simply lacked all sort of motivation and, actually, energy to be able to carry on with my hatha training.

This can't be, because hatha-yoga is ultimatly a very gentle practice exerting almost no strain on the body; unlike bodybuilding. It is more of a revitalizing, healing, energizing and rejuvenating deed. Essentially, this can't be because (to give a specific example) one of the great masters of yoga, Sri Parvti is also a weight lifter. I accept it, She's material nature's Godess and the sister of the Final Truth and everything, but if She exemplifies the two disciplines it is ultimately for one to take it as an example.

Not thinking much about it, it is obvious that to carry on with the two practices I have to turn inward a bit more of what I was turning in. Tapas are required, personally the moment of trying the two disciplines at once (months ago, and today) is the edge of a life of lustful obsession with intoxicants.

The best course of action I can think of is cutting my fag smoking a fag less each time I can until I develop a behaviour/style around the half a dozen per day... the energy squandered there will help me greatly in this objective.

I am doing it

I am about to start my fifth hatha session since I've put myself the objective of not letting myself be sidetracked by the inertia of the not-aryans; since the last 2nd of November.

I was taking mental notes of the feelings of procrastination and inertia I felt these days when after waking up I thought about doing hatha or not.

Now, it is very palpable how these procrastinating thoughts are subtle but, it is hilarious to see this, obviously and markedly not mine.

Giving up the inertia of resented creeps that feel violated by well-being culture

After a year in which I have neglected my hatha-yoga practices I am starting again.

In the eleven months of 2009 until now, two of these months I haven't done hatha at all, while five of these months I have practiced, but a very lower quantity of sessions of what can be called a "steady practice" (in my eyes no les than 16 sessions per month)...

This is pathetic. As reasons I think there are some:

1) I started doing hatha when I was 17 almost 18 years old, after more than a decade it ends up being quite boring.

2) I often go to a nearby gym to work out with weights.

3) Being in the west the intertia of the barbarians is the less conducive to a sadhana thing I've experimented before. I did hatha-yoga travelling, in mornings in India, penniless, when I didn't know what I will put in my stomach, when having a job in the US, after nigths of partying when I was having a hangover... an in other odd days that I probably was better off doing something else, but lately, couldn't defeat intertia...

This can't be... everyone has an edge. Some have the guts to go against the herd and fight for expressing it while others have it violated everyday.