Anarthas in Action

After almost a week since the previous post I wanna record that I am about to start my fifth hatha-yoga session since I started again six days ago. Today the inertia feelings attacked me again. They feel totally alien and even stupid to me and I am proud of having progressed so much psychically for the last fifteen years since the day I started doing hatha at eighteen, and specially for the last twelve years after realizing samadhi of the conciousness transposition (asamprajnata samadhi also known as dharma-megha-samadhi) type. I am proud of this because I note that the frequency of my real self is very different to the mind's and I always note when the thoughts I witness are impositions of the "this"... this is weird. Now I've learnt that when the "this" suggests idleness and sloth pertaining my sadhana, when I fall it's difficult not doing it because there is a sick psychologic/metaphysical game going on in me. The "this" (manas) suggest revelling in the inertia of ignorance and sloth, and the cue is picked up by the senses (indriyas) which """conditioned""" by the memory of sense gratification produce a volition in the self defeating any given quantity of will power for hatha-yoga practice I might treasure.

It's been a bit more than a month since my last hatha-yoga sessions.

In June I have done hatha-yoga three times and zero workouts. The chronic fatigue wasn't easy to surmount. Not only I didn't have the drive nor the energy to do any physical activity, not only that, but my sleep patterns changed drastically. In the last month I've been sleeping for more than 10 hours everyday, even sleeping 12 hours a day for many days.

I was suffering in this fallen, downtrodden condition for around three weeks until ten days ago I couldn't bear it anymore and started to search on the web for remedies to this medical condition known as chronic fatigue. And what I've found is that one of the remedies used for this condition is ginseng.

Then, I started taking the ginseng (which I already had in my collection of mother tinctures) and things got a bit better. Such was the recovery produced by the ginseng that today I'm starting (mildly) to do hatha-yoga again. Concidentially, the ginseng is also helping me to recover the sharply constant 8 hourssleep pattern I am used to.

When I feel 100% recovered I will try to implement the schedule that I devised in June. I checked it out just now and I know that I won't be able to accomplish it this month. If in the second week of June I was feeling at 40% of my energy but I can say that today, and after taking the ginseng for around a week I am feeling more or less around 75-80% of my physical energy...But this isn't the only reason of my chronic fatigue attack, I am sexually debauching too.